A Tale for a Tail
by sorata-chan
Summary: AU. its april fools day and as a way to get back at his brotherfor a comment made, inuyasha shaves sesshomaru's tail (no not the fluffy oh the horror) whose in on it? what will happen? what will sesshomaru do? read and find out. pairing tottaly undecided
1. the birthday thing

Disclaimer: I do not own inuyasha and whatever DBZ you may find in this fic.  
  
Warning: this fic contains some patois (language from Jamaica that's where I'm from) don't worry I wont leave you hanging, there will be translations in brackets beside it Now on with the fic! ~@~@~@~@~@~@@~@@~@@~~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@  
  
Tale of a Tail chappy 1: the birthday thing  
  
Sesshomaru is dreaming: he is swimming and all of a sudden a shark attacks him, but instead of biting off his head or something, it started poking him.  
  
Kagome in a gentle voice says "sesshomaru wake up we need to talk." "but mommy I don't want to go to school today, I want to stay home and make cookies with you" he says clearly sleepy ~what the hell?~ she thinks "oh sessh" "hmm?" "I'm NOT you mother you twit so wake up you stupid ninny!!!" she yelled making him bolt up "huh wha? AAAHHH!!!!!!!! Who are you and what are you doing here and what do you want with me???!!!!!" he curled up into a ball "mommy" "sesshomaru you monkey its me kagome and goku" "oh, oh yeah you , your inuyasha's girlfriend"  
  
"what did you say? Why I outta.." She said angrily "outta what" he asked flexing his claws "nevermind" she sat down "sessh your birthday is in a week and we don't know what to get." "I had a birthday too and I wanted a pony and a lollipop and a dolly and a-" goku interrupted "GOKU SHUT UP!!" kagome snapped "yes mam" "anyways what do you want, I was thinking of a pet, like a cute little dog or something." "oh please, a do? Ha, I have inuyasha" sesshomaru retorted "that's not very nice" "and besides," he continued "I have my tail, see look" he took up his tail "ooooooh cotton candy!!!!!!" goku said "I want it!!!!!" he ran over and started to munch on sessh's tail "ouch!!!" he growled then threw him off, goku started to cry.  
  
"my tail hurts*sniff sniff * but anyway my tail is nice and fluffy and I can pet it without it biting me and look." he took his tail and shook it up and down and up and down while making barking and growling noises. "look at the fluffy cat" goku said, "oh boy, I'm surrounded by morons." Kagome said while shaking her head.  
  
@~@~@~@~@~@ (a week later at sesshomaru's birthday party)  
  
"happy birthday sess, heres your present" kagome said handing him the said gift. "thanks, um.. isn't that goku?" kagome looked over and saw gohu sitting under a table in a crouching position, "hiah goku!!" sesshomaru said, goku shot up and hit his head on the table, he fell down, got up quickly and ran over to sesshomaru shouting "COTTON CANDY!!!" he ran over and bit his tail again. Once again sess threw him off and goku began crying.  
  
"right..," kagome said "oh look theres inuyasha, hey inuyasha!" she yelled signaling for him to come over, "oh hey, happy birthday sess, here" he gave him his gift, "inuyasha can I talk to you?" "um.. ok" they walked from goku and sess "whats up?" he asked "I cant believe you gave him a present after what he said about you" "what are you talking about?" "you mean you never knew he considers you his pet little brother and that he has more respect for his tail than for you?" "oh really, he said that did he? Why I outta!" kagome held him back, he breaks free getting ready to lunge after sess. "sit boy!" "damnit" inuyasha falls face first into the ground. "inuyasha its his birthday, at least wait till tommorow" "oh yeah tommorows april fools day" "yeah and..?" "I've got a plan" "oh do tell," he cupped his mouth and whispered in her ear.  
  
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end chappy!!!! Well glad that's over now I can get into the good stuff This fic idea has been buggin me for sometime now. Oh and the whole wimpy sess thing, I don't have any thing against the great lord of the western lands, in fact I wish I were with him ( but we cant always have what we want now can we) but you know you have to have some new fresh ideas with him now adays don't ya think? Newais R&R I'lll update as soon as I can Sayonara!! 


	2. april fools

Angelfairie: yo wasssup?!!!  
  
Icarus: hey we just gave her a new idea!!!  
  
Pk: yeah I feel so pwowd  
  
Angelfairie: well lets see if the reviewers like it first before we start bragging don't ya think?  
  
Pk: ya u got a point there  
  
Icarus: well if you don't mind ill just say this: we do not own any inuyasha or BBZ characters you may find in this fic.  
  
Angelfairie: good work!  
  
Icarus: gracias  
  
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chapter 2: April fools  
  
"partys over! Everybody out!!" sess yelled. "oh crap just when it was getting good" were some of the murmers coming from the crowed as they filed out of his home. When everyone left and sess was pleased with the state of his house he yawned and decides to go to bed. While patting and stroking his tale, he marched upstairs brushed his teeth and went to bed. He was in deep sleep when the plans of the ½ demon inuyasha took flight.  
  
It was the night before april fools  
  
And all through the house,  
  
Not a creature was stirring  
  
Not even a mouse.  
  
It was a cold mysterious night  
  
When the the halfbreed's plan took flight (a/n: I know it was said already but have paitience)  
  
Up the ladder one by one,  
  
First kagome, then inuyasha who tried to look up her skirt but was caught.  
  
"sit boy" he fell instantly thenran back up the ladder. He was about to shout something but sesshomaru woke up, wiped his eyes, yawned then went back into a deep slumber. "good going, why don't you just set off a bomb while your at it!" he hissed at her "hmph" she said in disgust. "hurry up and get in will ya!" "ok ok, hold your horses" they climbed in then the sound off 1000 bees filled the air but went unnoticed but the slumbering youkai.  
  
The next morning seshomaru woke up, stretched and began patting his tail. he began stroking it but realized that he was not touching any soft fluffy, cloudiness. He looked down to where his fingers were and saw a very pink thing staring at him. The high and mighty stoic ice prince began to freak out, crying to the high heavens waking up everyone within at least a 1 mile radius.  
  
"oh my god. Whered it go?? What happened???!!!!! I WANT MY MOMMY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" he paniced "what am I gonna do?? I cant go out looking like this!!!' he ran franticly around his room searching for a cover-up. "no this wont work" he tossed the can of shaving cream behind him "aha!" he ceazed his feather pillow and ripped it open. "this will work. it must!" he took up a bottle of crazy glue and sat down.  
  
"there" he pasted a lone feather at the top of his.....um.... tail if that's what you wanna call it. "perfect" he admired his 'work' but then the pinkness of the rest of his 'tail' caught his eye. "ok theres something missing", he looked puzzled at his tail and sit like that for about 5 minutes. Then it hit him "I'll just glue on more!!" while seizing 2 more pillows he set to work.  
  
After hours of gluing each feather to a different part of his 'tail' the result was a very feathery 'tail' and his fingers were now glued together.  
  
After getting them unstuck he decided that he wanted to go out so he called up inuyasha (much to his displeasure) kagome and goku. "so yall wanna go to a movie?" he asked "sure" kagome said "which one?" "the best one that's showing" "yeah a movie sounds good" inuyasha said "I heard thet movies are great and fun" goku piped up "right..."was the reply "ok thensee you at 5:30" sess said. "ok" kagome and inuyasha said the hung up. "okitay ninny" goku said "my name is sesshomaru not ninny" with that he hung up leaving goku to wonder ' but I could have sworn kagome said his name was ninny, oh well'  
  
At the movies, sesshomaru was impaitiently waiting for the others, he was about to leave when he heard "HARK!" 'hark the sound of a donkey in distress' he thought to himself 'ok then..' (a/n: just joking he might have been stupid for the feather thing but hes not hearing things) he really heard "COTTON CANDY!!! I want it I want it." He was tackled by goku and a very familiar pain shot up his tail.  
  
He growled then pushed goku off who again resorted to curling up in a ball on the ground. Inuyasha and kagome were puzzled as to how the fur on sesshy's tail grew back so quicky, but due to goku's stupidity, their unasked questions were answered as the rolled up goku spat out a big glob of feathers that were sticking to his mouth and a very noticeable bald spot inflicted in sessshomaru's 'tail'.  
  
They all started laughing hysterically, sesshomaru ran off wailing and screeming "MOMMY!!"  
  
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angelfairie: that sucked  
  
:pk: yeah it kinda did  
  
icarus: its funny how he cries not when someone stabs him up or something of the sort but once his tail is no longer nice and fluffy the waterworks start. It's the little things that hurt the most  
  
angelfairie: I think we hurt his pride  
  
sesshomaru: *pops out of nowhere* you think? Human wench and muse-  
  
pk:es its plural there are 2 muses present  
  
sesshomaru: whatever, I will you unless you chang all that foolishness you wrote aboput me now  
  
angelfairie: wh-what you'd kill me?????  
  
Sesshomaru: did I stutter?  
  
Angelfairie: *backs up to the wall* um mommy?  
  
*Pk and icarus flies out the room*  
  
angelfairie: uh someone help me . and um don't forget to read and review!!!  
HELP!!! 


	3. the solution to the problem

Hey ppl, sry for the long wait, but its here now, the next installment of Tale for a Tail.  
  
Disclaimer: no I don't own it, I wish I did though *sniff*  
  
*****************************  
  
chapter3: the solution to the problem  
  
sesshomaru ran home and straight upstairs to his bedroom when a loud thundering noise sounded. He looked up and saw a cloud in the shape of a lion (yes this is in his room) and then the mystical creature spoke  
  
"Simba" in a low booming voice  
  
"uh... I'm not simba" sess answered  
  
"well I'm mushu faza"  
  
"all right.... So um what do you want?"  
  
"give me a word, any word and I'll show you that the root of that word is greek"  
  
"...?"  
  
"tough crowd, anyway I have come to help you with your little tail problem"  
  
"this is what you call a little problem??!!" sesshomaru shouted, holding up his bal (the feathers had somehow fallen out *shruggs*)  
  
"ok ok chill, put your ass in the freezer and chill it, make like—"  
  
"are you quite finished?" sess asked quite annoyed  
  
"yah, fine be that way"  
  
"now about my tail, what can I do?"  
  
"the cause of your problem was one who is like you but not as much"  
  
"huh?" he asked puzzled  
  
"I'm speaking in riddles, you know one who is like you but not as much so later you can go 'oh, that's what he meant'"  
  
"oohh..."  
  
"anyway for the solution, behold the symbols," a pair of scissors appear at the right side of the room and a box of Rogaine at the left side "....one over here.... And the other over here" he said pointing to the said objects. "remenber them and look for them for they are the answers you seek"  
  
then mushu began to fade  
  
(a/n I know I'm stealing this from kung pow but I have a damn good reason, plz read the end note for details)  
  
"but what does this mean?" sess asked  
  
"this is CNN CNN CNN....(echos)"  
  
"wait!"  
  
"what?! Cant you see I'm trying to make you use your god damned head!, if you want the answer figure it out you fluf— or should I say BALD monkey!"  
  
as before, he started to fade saying "monkey monkey ooh, eeh aah aah..."  
  
"that..was...interesting"  
  
rafeki pops up and says  
  
"what weather we are having tonight"  
  
"yeah it looks like the winds are changing" sess says not realizing that ther is a baboon in his room!  
  
Rafeki hits sesshomaru in his head with his staff  
  
"ouch! Hey—huh? What the hell did you do that for?"  
  
"it doesn't matter its in the past!"  
  
"hey I think you got the wrong place dude and—"sess whacks him in the head "and that's for hitting me you crazy monkey"  
  
"ugh! This is an outrage, why I outta—"  
  
"outta what?" sess began flexing his claws  
  
"outta umm... call my lawyer" he said whipping out his cell phone (from where you ask? Ill just leave your imaginations to roam) and storms off into the closet.  
  
'ok that, was intresting' he thought, 'now what did the lion/cloud/dude/thing that was in my room eventhough I don't know how IT got there mean?'  
  
ok sorry for keeping you guys waiting so long  
  
ok the whole kung pow and lion king incidents, were not my ideas, my friend alia wrote this chapter for me, she said I was taking too long with the story line, she has a very wild imagination, I will try and post sooner cause I gots all the chapters well most of them, planned out now!!!  
  
Don't forget to review!!!!!!!!  
  
Sayonara!!  
  
~sora~ 


	4. the figures out the riddle

Hey!!!, I'm gonna update, I'm gonna update!! does a little dance thankz for all the reviews, I feel so luved!!!  
  
Chapter4: he figures out the riddle thing but by accident it think  
  
Warning!!!: this chapter contains some Jamaican language and cursing don't worry I wont leave you hangin, ill put the translations after the sentence!!  
  
$#^$%&*%^*(W%^%$#^$%&*%$  
  
sesshomaru sat there deep in thought, concentrating on what the answer to his problem might be.  
  
"oh I give up!!" he said taking up a pair of scissors, "I mean, what the rastafarii could the rastafarii lion/cloud/dude that was in my room eventhough I don't know how it gotthere thingy mean!, I mean what does a box of Rogaine and scissors have to do with my tail?"  
  
"I mean scissors are used to cut hair and rogaine is used to regrow it, so how does that help my bald tail???!!!" (regrow its hair?????? I tell yuh bout sum heediat people, blouse and skirt) translation: I can tell you about some very idiotic people. Blouse and skirt id just a term used to help stress a point in most cases  
  
"oh bou and theres that part about being like me but not as much, I mean, I'm a full demon and if not as much the person would have to be a half demon, the only person I know like that is inuyasha and that's it I don't know anyone else whose half demon!!" he yelled at no one in particular (is it just me or is he kinda acting a bit on the loopy side?)  
  
he sat there once again, thinking, and thinking, and thinking until "lightbulb" he said getting off the floor.  
  
"what if the scissors is representative of a salon and the rogaine is what you use to regrow my tail!" he said feeling very proud of himself. "I think I'll go to the salon now" he got up and tucked his tail into his pants.(it looked kinda...... strange) but he went anyway.  
  
******  
  
on the street walking, he passed many people, the women just stood and stared and smiled, but he didn't notice, too caught up with his thoughts. He went into the first salon he saw. The gay hairdresser, type dude came out and walked towards him.  
  
"hey is that a canoe in your pants or are you just happy to see me?" the hairdresser asked  
  
"actually its my tail" sess said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.  
  
"call it whatever you want"  
  
"no really its my tail" he took it out. "I was kinda wondering if there was anyway you could make the fur grow back?"  
  
"what are you talking about how am I supposed to make your tail-hair grow back?"  
  
"um rogaine maybe?"  
  
"oh yeah I have that but I'll have to add something to it to make it work on tails"  
  
"whatever, I'm desperate"  
  
"ok well wait a while and I'll see what I can do"  
  
"ok" he did as told (that's a first)  
  
***** 1hr later(said by the dude in spongebob with French accent)****  
  
sess looks up and thinks 'hey who said that?'  
  
3 hrs later..................  
  
5 hrs later........................  
  
8 hrs later........................  
  
10 hrs later.........................  
  
One week later!!!!...............  
  
Sess is in the salon sleeping and snoring.........  
  
The hairdresser dude comes out of the back room feeling very happy with himself.  
  
"ive done it!!!" he started dancing around the room, "hey hey hey hey hey" he bent over sess's head and knocked on it. "hello sleeping beauty"  
  
sess slowly opened his eyes  
  
"ive done it!!" he started dancing again  
  
"will you stop that annoying insolent dance thingy!!"  
  
"why?"  
  
"because its annoying and when I'm annoyed its not a good thing"  
  
"ok ok,don't have a cow!" he said then in an undertone "but have my baby"  
  
"what did you say?"  
  
"no thing nothing" then in another undertone "ooh I like em feisty"  
  
"what did you say?"  
  
"nothing, your so paranoid"  
  
"no I'm not......... who told you that?" he asked in a cowering type voice "I'm hungry"  
  
"hey hey hey hey hey hey, good for you hey ehy hey.." he said while doing thaty annoying dance  
  
"will you shut up you incompetent moron"  
  
"ok ok, fine be that way"  
  
"I will, so can you deal with my tail problem already"  
  
"yeah yeah sure whatever"  
  
he applied the rogaine formula to sess's tail  
  
"leave this in for two hours and then wash it out with this shampoo but be care ful not to use too little ok" he handed him the shampoo, "now go home and call me in the morning"  
  
"call you in the... oh I get it now the whole doctors joke thing, funny"  
  
"whose joking? Here my number"  
  
$#^$#&%^(*&^(&%$^#$^$%*^&  
  
ok there new chappy, I'm gonna see how quick I can update the perfect youkai and gymnist form hell, heck I might even put up a new fic, I don't know why I do this tomy self too many fics, but oh well,I like writhing!!  
  
Ok plz review!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11  
  
Sayonara!!!  
  
~sora~ 


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